An open letter to the young and fashionable

I am feel extremely privileged today to have such a great personality, writer and blogger write
a guest post on my little blog. Petra Bellejambes is the distinguished (and fabulous) blogger
of Voyages en Rose..I came across this blog a few months ago, and the beautiful words (and outfit pictures)
of Petra changed the way I viewed blogs…

Welcome Petra!!!

(I suggest you fully read every word written by the great Petra..For every fashionable woman, mother
daughter…It put me in tears)

An Open Letter to the Young and Fashionable
by Petra Bellejambes

Just last weekend I was very cozily seated between two very good friends, the three of us pinched practically knee to knee on a smallish couch. My friends are a little older than I, but not much. I must use the F word to describe their age: Fifties.

Their kids are either grown and long gone or close to it. The mortgages are small and the careers are big. They are smart, happy, fit and beautiful. One of them recently traded her old husband in for really handsome dog and the luxury of a tidy bathroom. She is cautiously dating now, and she said something that practically broke my heart:

“Men in my age bracket seem to look right through me. Can you explain that?”

I did not have a great answer at that moment, and was saved from improvising one when somebody blundered into our conversational triangle and started to talk politics. The question stays with me still though, and I thought to share it you, dear friends of Miss Neira. I have a job for you, no really, a mission, a nearly religious calling that I want you to take up. If you do, when you are in your Fifties, you might thank me.

It is time to go shopping with Mom. Yes, your Mom.

Not just yet though. First things first. Dress smartly for gods sake, put on some makeup and accessorize with things that are needlessly expensive, attract attention and make you feel bulletproof. You must wear heels and you must talk her out of her loafers, If she pushes back, promise that you will turn off your phone if she wears the nice sandals. That should work.

She has a nice bag somewhere in the house. Grab it, put her pocketbook and some nice lip gloss in it and leave all the other crap that slows her down spilled out on a coffee table. No fleece tops or elastic waistbands for either of you.

You have a treat for her before you hit the shops. The treat is either a nice lunch with a mandatory glass of wine, or a pit stop at the nail salon. If you are able to do both, you stand a good chance of squeezing your brother out of the will, but that is not the objective here. More important things are ahead.

By now, you will have had a giggle or two, and Mom is relaxing a bit. You will probably enter the mall through the department store she feels comfortable in. Watch out! She is turning left towards the racks with the endless horizon of Hillary pant-suits and the matronly twin-sets. Hold her elbow gently and steer her away to where you love to shop. There is a more contemporary section there in Macy’s or Nordstrom’s or even Penney’s for crying out loud. Go there now. You are leading the dance.

You will have to encourage her, and it won’t be false flattery. She still has the legs for a 19” skirt. No A-lines please, something that has a little cling and color. She will say “no, I cannot wear that …”. She is half right. She cannot do it alone. What she means to say is “I want to believe I can wear this, but I do not believe it anymore”.

Your mantra must be Yes. You. Can. Grab something for yourself too and hit the fitting rooms together. You may never have done that with Mom, and if not, now is a good time. Bonus points if you are able to get a laugh out of her. She still has a wine buzz going.

You will want to be careful about that look on your face. Mom knows you like nobody else ever will, and she will be watching you for signals. Be prepared to run back out to the racks to grab a smaller size. Be sure that your face says that she can wear that, it’s not too young for her, she can flaunt it. She looks great. You are proud of her. Much of what makes you beautiful came from her. She still has it, and you know that, don’t you?

Keep at it until find something that she would never have picked up for herself. Keep going as long as her feet can stand it. And then proudly swipe your plastic (unless you managed to pay for lunch, then you are off the hook). The magic may not happen on your first attempt my dear, but you have the stamina to try again though don’t you? Make a promise, pick a date, maybe a month off in the future, and repeat until you both get it right.

Twenty years down the road there is a possibility that you will feel like a foreigner in places that are home to you today. Twenty years from now you may feel the doors of age bias too heavy to push open. Twenty years from now you may shop like your Mom. And then you may find yourself wondering why men seem to just look through you.

You deserve better than that. Like most things in your life, Mom will provide the best example you could hope for. So go help her set an example. And then walk as long as you can in her path. You both have many beautiful years ahead of you. Perhaps then men in my age bracket will smarten up a little and stop looking through the genuine beauty that is all around them. The right ones will in any event. Keep those ones close.

Visit Petra..

@Voyages en Rose blog

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